Love it or hate it, you can’t avoid Valentine’s Day. If you’re lucky(?) enough to score a date this year, whether it’s with your long-term boyfriend who farts in bed and traps you under the covers (yuck) or a hot new beau, we’ve got your body covered with the right clothes to give off those posivibes and get your man’s heart racing.
1. The new relationship Valentine’s date
RUBY dress, Deadly Ponies bag, Zara jacket, Whistles boots, Topshop Lipgloss.
Ahh, the ignorant bliss of a new relationship. You’ve just met someone you really-kinda-obsessively fancy, he thinks you’re fab and he doesn’t know you get gassy when you’ve had too much cheese and snort when you laugh. He’s asked you out on a cliché dinner-and-movie date and you’ve checked your schedule (you’re free) but you don’t know what to wear. We suggest something smart-casual that will take you effortlessly from day to night: a printed dress – legs OR cleavage – paired with some strappy sandals or ankle boots, maybe a snazzy jacket too. You want to keep it casual and cute to avoid scaring him off (unless that’s your thing – if he can’t handle the heat…), so don’t go full Kardashian on the makeup either. Paint your smackers with some lippy and keep the rest of the face neutral.
2. The ‘we’ve-been-dating-for-five-years-where’s-my-ring’ Valentine’s date.
Molecule perfume, Lonely lingerie, MAC lipstick, Miss Crabb dress.
Let’s be honest: if you’re at this stage in your relationship, your man probably isn’t going to care what you wear as long as you pick a restaurant that serves steak (yes, you’ll be doing all the organizing). You’re gonna need to turn it up a notch and make damn sure he does much more than notice you. Psychological studies have revealed that men are more attracted to women wearing red, so go out and get yourself a hot new red dress and some heels – AKA god’s gift to calves – to match. This is a perfect opportunity to book an expensive restaurant and show off your legs and cleavage, but keep it classy ladies. If you’re not feeling adventurous, throw on some red lippy and a little black dress. He’ll head to the jewellery store the next morning.
3. The I-hate-valentine’s-non-date
Zara sweats, Coffee Shop tshirt, Topshop birkenstocks, E Cards.
You describe yourself as a ‘strong independent woman who don’t need no man’, but we all know secretly you want to be coupled up, and Valentine’s Day is just another trigger for you (alongside The Notebook, going to Mission Bay, tandem bicycles, double scoop ice creams, the number 2…) We know where you’ll be: getting shamelessly drunk with your other single friends and ‘making fun’ of all the couples around you (read: muttering immature comments while secretly wishing you had a man). You’ll be in such a state it won’t really matter what you’re wearing – we just recommend choosing something you don’t mind throwing out. You clearly don’t want to impress, so maybe throw on your daggiest pair of sweatpants. Oh what’s that? You do want to impress? Hmm…
Words: Chelsea Armitage
Outfits: Lucy Korn