They came, they saw, they were seen, and now they will be judged!
ITS OSCARS TIME
Jennifer Lawrence & Amy Adams
J.LAW – This is one major dress. MA-JOR if you are Rachel Zoe.
At first we felt unsure about this giant cloud-like choice, was it… a tad bridal-y maybe? But looking at it now we realize that this is actually a brilliant, princess worthy dress worn by a brilliant, Oscar worthy actress. The fitted bodice makes her rockin’ bod look rockin’ and the colour(s), you can’t really tell in pictures, or on TV but this dress is two-toned – Baby pink at the front, and white at the back, keep the whole look young and fresh. Also her hair and make up was perrrrrrfect.
Also we love her.
AMY Not-Isla-Fisher ADAMS – During Anne Hathaway’s acceptance speech she mentioned how hounered she wes to be nominated amoung all these brilliant actresses. When she mentioned Amy Adams all we could think about was how the hell did the girl who married Borat and stared in Confessions of a Shopaholic be an Oscar nominee? But then we remembered… Sorry Amy. Anyway, misstaken identities aside, We were also skeptical about Amy’s dress. On TV it looked like she was wearing a huge grey shower sponge but in pictures it looks less so. It is actually rather breathtaking. We only wish that she would own her red hair a little more, it’s looking a little on the dull side – Vamp it up girl!
Charlize Theron & Zoe Saldana
CHARLIZE THERON – She is so beautiful. Honestly, look at that face! Her hair is great (she recently buzzed it off for a movie roll) her makeup is great, her body is great, SHE is great. The only thing that stops the dress from being completely great is the fact that Anne Hathaway just won a Golden Globe wearing what was, pretty much the same dress (to the non fashion eye anyway). Also, if we were knit-picking, the peplum could have done with being just half and inch shorter.
ZOE SALDANA – For some reason, probably because of her last name, I liken Zoe to a Salamanda. I can’t help it, I just thought it one day and now I can’t stop (kind of like how I look at Penelope Cruise and see a Pigeon). This is not to say that Zoe is unattractive because she is, she is stunnnnning, and as a former model, knows how to wear the hell out of a dress. This dress, we think, is an ALMOST hit. We love the ombre detailing and the pretty bodice, it fits her perfectly and the bluey/grey shade of white is cool. What is not cool is that belt. SO MUCH BETTER SANS BELT! This is your bad Rachel Zoe, if you still style Zoe that is.
ANNE the-taylor-swift-of-actresses HATHAWAY – Word is Anne ditched the Valentino that she was meant to be wearing right before the ceremony, which is fine apart from the fact that we don’t ever get to see that dress Because this Prada creation that she swapped in is a snooooooooooze. Well a snooze that sparked many a conversation about whether or not those are Anne’s actual nipples we can see or just chest darts, but a snooze nonetheless. It is very bridesmaid-ish and stiff-ish and shiny apron-ish.
Her head is good though, and the necklace. And she won so it’s not all bad.
Naomi Watts & Sandra Bullock
NAOMI WATTS – This is super galactic-ally awesome. It is interesting in the simplest of ways, if that makes sense. Actually it could very much be our favourite look of the night.
SANDRA BULLOCK – I feel like Sandra Bullock is who Jennifer Lawrence will be in 20 or so years. Don’t you think? They are both selfdepreciating, both amazing actresses and they are both unafraid to make really ugly faces on live television. Actually they should definitely be friends.
In other news, that dress is faaaabbbb and she is in fantastic shape. Gold star.
Halle Berry & Nicole Kidman
HALLE BERRY – This more than makes up for that horrendous Versace she wore to the Golden Globes and she looks great in it. But that, I’m afraid, is as far as we are going to go because even though the dress is quite dramatic, it failed to get us excited.
NICOLE KIDMAN – It has been a long time since Nicole has looked this great. We were so happy about this dress we actually yelled HOT DAMN! out loud at the TV screen when we saw her. She looks stunning and, best of all, she knows it.
Jessica Chastain & Renee Zellwegger
CHASTAIN – Girl Pulled. It. Out this Oscar’s night. The figure hugging gown, the red curls and the kiss me quick lipstick are absolute perfection. Gullianna, (who seemed to have been banned from talking to any celebrities this year) piped up from her segregated corner that she looked very Jessica Rabbit, and we have to agree. This could definitely be our pick for best dress of the night.
RENEE ZELWIGGER – I honestly believe that Renee was either pissed or on drugs when she appeared with her fellow CHICAGO cast members to present an award during the ceremony. If you watched the telecast then you will know what we are talking about. She was wobbling all over the place and couldn’t read the teleprompter AT ALL. She also looked like she had done something weird to her face. Social media exploded with reactions to this rather awkward situation, the fug girls tweeted “I think maybe someone needs to carry Renee Zellweger backstage while the cameras are elsewhere” while someone else asked, “Do you guys remember when Renee Zellweger had eyes?” Seriously, you need to look it up on youtube if you missed it, it’s pretty bad.
Anyway back to the dress. There is nothing wrong with this, in fact it is rather pretty, but it seems like IT is wearing HER. She’s not rocking it like she could, it all comes off a blah in the end.
Olivia Munn & Jennifer Aniston
OLIVIA MUNN – No idea as to why Olivia was at the Oscars but she looks great! Maybe a bit like she has gathered her bed sheets around her hips to form a skirt, but great nonetheless. The colour is particularly beautiful with her dark hair and olive skin. Also we kind of love that this couldn’t be anything else but a Marchesa creation, props to Georgina Chapman for having a signature look.
JENNIFER ANISTON – LOVE LOVE LOOOVE this dress on Jen. It is totally out of character for her, what with it being an actual colour and of princess silhouette but is rocking this like a pro. The hair leaves something to be desired though, why is it always the same? Has she got a weird shaped head or something?
Helen Hunt & Reese Witherspoon
We have just realized how popular the strapless look was this year, it looks like decolletage is still a thing.
HELEN HUNT – Bad hair, bad makeup, bad styling, bad fit, nice… colour? The more we see of Helen Hunt the more we believe that she is just one of those inherently unfashionable people. You just know she goes to the supermarket in mum jeans and running shoes. Oh and by the way, this dress is by H&M and you can tell.
REESE WITHERSPOON – She ALWAYS looks great, always. This cobalt blue is great on her and really unexpected on the red carpet. And guess what? Reese here has pretty much just had another baby. Man we would be rolling them out if we could look this good afterwards, especially if our hair went this shiny.
Amanda Seyfried & Salma Hayek
AMANDA SEYFRIED – Every time we go to write something about Amanda we have to stare at her face for at least 10 minutes before we remember what her name is. That can’t be a good sign can it?
We like this, it looks very intricate and delicate, there is something very ethereal about it which is a quality that we think Amanda has in spades. HOWEVER we do think this dress would have been sooooo much better if it weren’t for the halter. Chop that neck brace off, let the hair down and we would have awarded Amanda best dressed of the night.
SALMA HAEYEK – We literally can’t even talk about this one. Seriously.
Jane Fonda, Kerry Washington & Jennifer Garner
JANE FONDA – Holy cripes. How old is Jane Fonda because she looks freaking incredible. Not so sure about the dress though… The colour is actually pretty great on her but those shoulder pads need to go. The shoes look a bit crap too.
KERRY WASHINGTON – So many people loved this dress an don’t get us wrong, we do to, but as great as it is, we can’t seem to get past how bad her matchy matchy accessories are. We can’t stand matchy matchy at the best of times but especially when it involves formal wear. The shoes are just so bad.
JENNIFER GARNER – This was a big night for Jen and Ben. When Argo won Best Picture Ben did the sweetest acceptance speech, I think every women watching fell in love with him right then and there.
We like everything from the waist up. Great hair, great face, FANTASTIC necklace. The rest however is not great at all. The back of this dress looks like it belongs on the back of a chair at a very elaborate, purple themed wedding.
And thats a wrap! Better late than never right?